Today we are going to talk about how long you should wait to date again after you have ended a relationship. There are some schools of thought out there that you should wait a month for every year that you were with that person, some say that you shouldn’t wait at all and jump straight back on the horse and get back into it again, and others say that you should be celibate for years before you get out there and date again.
So, what should you do? Watch the video or continue the article below to find out.
I will just come straight out with it – the truth of the matter is that there is no set rule on how long you should wait to date someone again after you have ended a relationship.
However, I will give you some general guidelines (that I consider healthy) regarding how long you should wait to date again.
When you have been dating for a short amount of time
If someone has said that they don’t want to see you again and you have only just been dating them, then maybe take a day or two just to reflect on what has happened, but get out there and start dating again.
You were only just dating. You weren’t in a relationship, even though you might have thought that you were exclusive or that you had started a relationship with them. In effect, you have only been dating them. So, get back on the horse and start dating again.
When you were exclusive with someone for a few months
If you had been going out for a few months, then maybe take a week or so to get over it. But make sure that you have a good reflection on what happened for that relationship to end (follow some of the guidelines below for what to do after a long-term relationship).
When you were in a long-term relationship
If you were in a relationship that had lasted many years, and for some people it might even be decades that you were with that person or married to that person, then I suggest taking a good chunk of months (or even longer), before you start to date someone new.
Obviously, the relationship ended for a reason. You might be the one who ended it, or you might have been the one who was blindsided, and it got ended for you. And if you are in that position right now and you are hurting, I feel you and I am sorry that you’re going through this right now.
Obviously, there is pain at a break-up. Even if you’re the one who’s done the breaking up, you are still going to feel a level of sadness because you’ve been with that person for a long time and there is probably still some love there (unless something really bad happened and you’re like oh my god I can’t be near this person anymore).
There is healing that needs to take place. You need to give yourself the time and opportunity to feel the hurt, the grief, the anger, the fear, the guilt, the shame, and everything else that comes up as part of a relationship breakdown.
You need to be able to feel it and express it – and you can’t really do that if you’re off dating again. You need to give yourself the time to do that – to sit there and cry and learn from what has happened. And that is the other thing, take a good look at what went wrong in that relationship.
That can be a great place to start. By looking at what went wrong and what didn’t work in a relationship, it will give you a good indication of what WILL work for you in a relationship.
It is not the time to bag out the other person or think about everything that they did wrong or put the blame on them. I don’t believe in that. We take responsibility for what has happened in our life.
You will then need to become clear on what it is that you DO want in a relationship (if you want to have a relationship again – and if you are reading this then I think that you probably do want to have a relationship again).
This is your opportunity (as I talk about all the time) to get really ready for love. Obviously, the last relationship didn’t work, so you want to set up the next relationship so that it does last forever (if that is what you’re after). And you can do that by properly getting ready for love.
On a side note…. if you are interested in really getting ready for love, I do have a program “Get ready to finally find the one”. You can get yourself on the VIP waitlist for the next program by clicking here. In this program I will take you through everything you need to do to get you in the right place to find the person and relationship that is going to last a lifetime. Use this time wisely!
Now in the meantime, if you still want to get out there and meet people you can. Go out there and date casually, date for fun, get a casual partner that is going to fulfil you physically if that is what you need right now (but of course you need to let them know right from the start that the relationship is just casual and fun for you). No games, no trickery, everyone has got to know up front what is going on in that relationship.
Sometimes that is all you need – a little bit of fun, and a little bit of good sex, and someone just to enjoy while you figure yourself out. There are traps of course that can happen if you start to fall for that person even though you have only set it up as a casual relationship. But that is a different story, and I do have a video on that from years ago if you want to watch it: Casual Relationships – when you want more, and they don’t.
So just to recap, there is no set time that you need to wait to begin to date again. However, if you have been in a long-term relationship I do suggest that you take a bit of time out from dating to get yourself in the right place again to then be able find a lifelong partner.
It is super important – because you don’t want to make those same mistakes again.
YOU DESERVE LOVE!
You deserve a really good relationship that is going to last a lifetime.
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to sign up for my newsletter because there is information and special offers that I only share with my newsletter subscribers (you can do that at www.finallyfindtheone.com). You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel and you can also sign up to my free Facebook group “Finally Find The One with Tracey Wynter” where you can connect with like-minded singles and support each other in your journey towards finding love.
Finding love is possible. Even after you’ve been in a long-term relationship and it has ended.
I know that you CAN and WILL find love.
Bye for now!